There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
