I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
