After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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