i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
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He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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