so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
