is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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