you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
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Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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