I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
