i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
