Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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