I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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