all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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