Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
