based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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