Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
