I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
