Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
