When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
