I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
