I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Too much gin, very little bucket
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
