Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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