White coat. Heels.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize