Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
