YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
