Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
