dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
