the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
