I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
