The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
