going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize