Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
