I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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