she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
they need to just BURY HIM!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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