pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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