you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
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Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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