After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
