Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize