trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
