im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Found the puke drawer
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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