So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
