Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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