i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
