I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
