Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I wish i was in the wii world.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
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Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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