its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
