The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
