We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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