I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
