I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
