he puts the penis in happiness.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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