So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
