Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
