I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
