you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
