Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
