I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
