Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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