Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
