how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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