some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
