She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
