i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
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I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize