i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
