Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
