I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just pee around me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
