Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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